How to Find Your Aesthetic
I’m about to drop a really unpopular opinion…
Interior design style DOES. NOT. MATTER.
How many times have you stopped by a massive online retailer and filtered your results by style? Farmhouse. Modern. Mid-Century Modern. Traditional. Transitional. Eclectic. Bohomian. The list is endless. How many of you have you taken the “find my style” quiz on a certain interior design website, in the hopes that it would give you some kind of direction? Did it give you an answer like: bohemian chic with a farmhouse flair? Helpful.
If you raised your hand, you’re not alone. I’ve done it too. And that’s how I know, after spending 30 minutes choosing one photo over another, you end up more lost and confused than you were beforehand. It’s like asking Google for relationship advice. You’ve gotten an answer, but it doesn’t exactly hit home. There’s a very simple explanation.
These quizzes and style categories don’t work because they try to put you (an elaborate network of human emotion, desires, nuance, and complexity) into a one-size-fits-all box. Havenly doesn’t know about that time when you were a little kid sitting on your grandparent’s lap, looking through old sepia photos filled with their loved ones and memories. It couldn’t quite picture the desert sunrise you saw one time, so spectacular that you still dream about it on the most pleasant nights. There’s no comment box to say “I love punk music but my favorite color is ballet pink”. It might not seem like these things have anything to do with decorating your home. And that’s where we’ve gone horribly wrong. Those tiny details are everything.
The same feeling you get when you take a sip of your favorite cold drink on a hot summer day, or the peace you feel when you go for a hike in the woods after spending months in the city, you can harness in your home. Your home is a physical extension of you. It should contain everything that makes you happy, and nothing that doesn’t. Style. Be. Damned. (Say a prayer that I don’t get kicked out of the profession for saying that.)
“That’s great and all, but I still have no idea what the hell to do”, you, right now. Here are some actual steps to take that might help you find your personal style, your aesthetic, your home palette, your art:
1. Make a list
Make a list of every single thing that has ever made you happy. It’s really fun and makes you feel really good about being alive. Here’s a portion of mine:
I could probably go on forever though.
2. Pick something off the list
It can be whatever you want. If you feel like starting with something easy, pick an item that gives you an idea for something tangible. It’s easier for me to use “vintage everything, but also ultra contemporary things” in design than it is to use something like “when old people get super happy”. See what I mean?
3. Turn your “thing” into a tangible design element
Love sunsets? What is it you love about them? If it’s the color, create a color palette for your home that incorporates reds, oranges, pinks, or purples. If it’s the soft lighting, replace all of your 400,000,000K in-your-face-daylight bulbs with a warmer color temperature, somewhere around 2700K (Here is a great guide for lighting color temperatures). You can use warm tone semi-sheer curtains to filter the light that comes through during the daytime. Or hell, you can frame and hang a beautiful painting or photograph of a sunset. Your house, your rules.
In case you’re still feeling a little lost, I’ll choose a few of mine and walk you through how I would apply them.
Puppies, also old dogs. Also all animals.
Buy it here.
Hello, favorite wallpaper! This is what we hung up in our living room. It makes me smile every time I see it. Do you think that when I told people I was putting up a black and white wallpaper with forest critters all over it, they were like “Oh that sounds really cool and I bet it will look great”? Absolutely not. Who cares! Live your life. Let’s try another:
The first few weeks in the spring when everything seems bright and alive and happy.
Oh my goodness, hiii all white second floor! Won’t it feel too sterile? You’re painting the floors the same color as the walls? You’re painting your floors? All questions - all don’t matter. I didn’t know exactly how it was going to feel once it was done, but I trusted my gut and now our entire second story is one big breath of fresh air. Isn’t it completely different from the downstairs, which is black and dark? Sure it is. And it’s great. How about this one:
The smell of old buildings. Old buildings.
One day I convinced Ben to go antiquing with me in rural Pennsylvania, a feat in and of itself. We tried a few different shops but found that most of the items were antiques that had been refinished to look like new… and way out of our price range. I walked by this little fella pictured above, covered in spots and drips of old wax, and immediately fell in love. I still don’t know how I talked him into leaving with it, but we got it home and found out that it’s a Victorian sewing table worth a LOT of money in good shape. I, however, wanted to leave it exactly as is. It has so much raw character, and it smells like an old library. I stack all of my favorite vintage wares on it, and we suddenly have a corner of our home that scratches my dark academia itch.
I hope this has helped provide some clarity about why I think “style” doesn’t matter. Get creative. Think outside of the box. Remember that you are not just one thing, so why should your home be any different? If you want to give this a shot, feel free to do so in the comments! I’m happy to help you figure it out.
Until next time,
Nicki
